I have been a student of etiquette since I was a teenager! It started when I picked up a vintage copy of Amy Vanderbilt etiquette book from my library’s free book giveaway one summer and the fascination hasn’t let up since then. I was so intrigued by the many customs and rules that society used to follow (think calling cards and invitations from the Ambassador for dinner at the White House) and how we can translate that into life today. A common view of etiquette is that it is outdated and stuffy, no longer needed in an ultra casual society that values what is quick and easy rather than what takes time to develop. Etiquette can be a daunting subject to dive into since there are so many different resources available, from Instagram, to books, to online classes. I think a book is always the best place to start (I’m biased as a book worm through and through) so I wanted to make a quick list of my top 5 etiquette books for those looking to dive into the topic of etiquette and learn more about it.

Modern Etiquette Made Easy

The modern queen of etiquette, Myka Meier, wrote her first book as a true starting place for those interested in what modern etiquette means and shares practical tips on how to achieve a more polished and professional appearance. I LOVE this book and recommend it to everyone who has any interest in learning about etiquette. Myka has practical, visual examples of common etiquette topics such as how to dine and navigate place settings at a formal dinner and how to sit elegantly. Her book is FULL of pictures to help guide you in your path to understanding and implementing every day etiquette and grace into your life. If you are looking for a starting place on your journey to understanding etiquette, this the best place you could start. She also has a Business Etiquette book that has tons of great advice for those in the workplace that need guidance on how to navigate workplace etiquette.

If you fall in love with Myka like I did, check out her Instagram that has funny and short etiquette tips, as well as her YouTube where she dives into deeper topics and shares some of her fashion advice!

Lessons from Madame Chic

I discovered Jennifer L. Scott through YouTube then purchased some of her books after learning more about her experiences in Paris as an exchange student and the transformation she went through by living abroad. While her books are not STRICTLY about etiquette, they do cover many of the social graces and how to lead a more polished, formal life. Her books about Madam Chic (her host mother in France), teach us lessons about the value of leading a life that is well ordered and designed, from what we wear to how and what we eat. She has several books in the Madam Chic series as well as several books for children, and I highly recommend all of them! Check out her YouTube as well for even more advice on clothing, recipes, and homemaking.

Emily Post’s Etiquette

You can’t go wrong with the original source for all things etiquette, the proverbial Bible of etiquette, Emily Post’s Etiquette (the most current version). This 656 page book is the ultimate reference for all things etiquette and is a great reference book to keep around the house, even if you don’t read it cover to cover. I view my copy as more of an encyclopedia to refer to if a specific issue comes up or there is a certain circumstance I am curious about (like how to set a place setting that includes both red and white wine glasses). Emily Post will always be the queen of etiquette and for good reason. She is the ultimate reference source and ultimate authority on etiquette. I love how her family and foundation have kept her books alive and updated them as the times have changed. I highly recommend keeping the latest copy of Etiquette on hand for those rare times you need to reference how to address a Bishop or Ambassador.

Good Manners for Nice People Who Sometimes Say F**k

If you are looking for a less formal, more story telling and personal side to etiquette, I highly recommend this slightly irreverent, absolutely hilarious book, Good Manners for Nice People Who Sometimes Say F**K. Amy Alkon does a great job discussing the truly infuriating situations we have all been subjected to in the modern world (speaker volume cell phone calls for the world to hear, slow walkers at Costco, and people who are constantly chewing with their mouth WIDE OPEN) with humor and wit. She addresses situations Emily Post could have never imagined, from cell phone and social media etiquette, to how to confront neighbors about pickup up their pet’s waste in a way that will make you laugh and cry because you know the pain of those exact situations. This book may not be for everyone since there is a fair amount of colorful language, but if you can get past that, this book offers great etiquette advice in a way that is accessible to everyone. I highly recommend this if you are ready to laugh a little!

English Etiquette

If you’ve ever been interested in the WHY behind a lot of our etiquette rules, this is the book for you! This is not necessarily a book on etiquette techniques, but more on the reason etiquette and learning about protocol is important and has helped shaped society. Alena Pettitt’s book is not a “use this fork, place your napkin here” kind of book, it is more a “why we should practice good manners” kind of book. A book on how to be a little nicer, a little more constrained, a little more civilized, overall, a little more compassionate. It is not a rule book, but rather a book to inspire you to pursue the rules and how they will benefit your life.